Jessie's new saying

So I am lying in bed last night trying to get some sleep and Dan and Jessie are arguing about her getting her butt to bed. Jessie not wanting to go to bed gets mad at Dan and informs him."Daddy, I'm gonna row your boat!" Dan asks, "What did you say?" truly not hearing her. Jessie replies "I'm gonna row your boat right into the ocean Dad! Hmph!" and stalks off into her room. God I love her! It took me few minutes of giggles before I could tell Dan what she said. I'm still laughing!

Ahhh...

Jessica and Dan at the St. Patrick's Day Parade

So I came thru surgery with flying colors. Literally the drugs were good. But they have long worn off and the pain is real and so are the nerves that I might not heal well. But that is where I give it to God.

It has been a long, hard, emotional month. It has been 1 month since Mike died today. Watching Jessa go through this has been one of the hardest things I hope I ever have to do. There is nothing I can say or do to heal that constant aching hole in her heart. I can cry with her, laugh with her and hold her when I run out of words. But nothing is worse than seeing your closest friend adjust to being a widow. That hollowness in her eyes that you want to wipe away but are helpless to do anything about. But I can laugh with her when everything seems too absurd for words.

For those who don't know, Mike always said he wanted a Viking funeral. Well he was cremated and we will be having the Viking funeral (minus Dog at his feet) he wanted on the Cape this summer. The humor enters in the fact that we are not only building a small boat to do this with but we are doing it in Chatham where his family has a cottage and also in Mashpee where we spent a week every summer with Jessa's family. So Jessa and I are sitting in her car last night just chatting when all of a sudden she simply states that we will be setting Mike on fire twice. Be it late night, our sick senses of humor, but suddenly nothing was ever funnier. We must have laughed for 10 minutes no stop. Then it became, we probably won't be able to get the boat to light, or do we consider one a test run for the other, or God forbid the boat drifts and we start a brush fire and burn down half of the Cape. You had to be there. But that moment gave me such hope for her. She needed to laugh like that. And for a brief moment the light was back in her eyes. I think I needed it as much as she did.

So life continues, I go back to work on Monday. I also have my first surgery follow up Monday afternoon. Not looking forward to an appointment they tell me to medicate for. OUCH. Jessica is getting there with the potty training. Lots of accidents and God forbid poopy ever go in a potty but in her own way she's getting the hang of it.

Wish me luck...

Having some pretty major sinus surgery tomorrow. They are restructuring all my sinuses and enlarging the drainage tube from the pockets over my eyes to the nostrils. To do this they have to chip out pieces of bone from my eye socket. EW. So I am looking forward to nice black eyes and at least 5 days of Percoset. See ya when the drugs wear off!